she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
