Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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