so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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