Kareoke will never be a sober sport
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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