My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
