Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I CAN MOONWALK!
My balls are so social today.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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