dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
