I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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