All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Damn victory sex feels great
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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