thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I need moral support for this bender
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize