Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The uberlube is also flammable
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
