If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize