I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
