She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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