you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
