You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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