Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
