She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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