dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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