He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
