Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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