Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
