My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
