Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
