He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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