hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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