And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
