Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
