if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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