I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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