let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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