Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
