Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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