This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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