You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
