I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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