It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
