at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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