There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
