were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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