There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
