i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
