I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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