my soul wont recognize me after tonight
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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