are you so shy because you have an std?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
