im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love you. Go after that dick
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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