do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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