As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
