I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
