bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
