He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
