I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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