is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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