worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize