hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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