From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
