So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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