note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
