How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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