Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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