Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
