Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
