Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My vagina is officially offended.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
