so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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