I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
