My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize