I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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