I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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