i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
