dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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