Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize